I step into

The hallway.

It's blurry.

One more step.

Each step takes so much

Effort.

There are no other bodies

But mine.

Everything is a hazy

Cream color.

Except the lights.

The lights are so

Bright

They hurt.

Step.

Step.

My skinny jeans are so tight, it's hard to

Move.

Step.

Step.

I'm here, finally, my locker.  I look down to do my combination. 

…20-…  

The metal door opens with an ear-splitting creak.

And there it is. 

A piece of Double Bubble Bubble Gum. 

That's not why I'm here. What was I here for again? I can't remember.

I rummage through my books, trying to figure out why my feet brought me here. 

But I can't stop thinking about that piece of crappy gum. 

If you eat it, you'll be even fatter than you already are.  No one will like you. 

No one does like you. 

Besides, why would you want a piece of sickly sugary, artificially pink piece of tire? 

I straighten my back and look straight at it. 

I haven't eaten yet today.  It's only 10 calories, and I'll burn those calories chewing. 

I'm starving.

I reach out for it. 

I touch it's yellow and blue paper wrapper, twisted in a bow. I feel its wrinkles. 

I can't bring myself to open it, so I stand there thinking about the consequences. 

You like to be empty. Empty is strong. 

Empty is power. 

This feels bad in your mouth, its sugar sliding down your throat

And crawling into your stomach. 

I'm starving.

I tear open the wrapper and shove the gum gluttonously in my mouth 

I close my eyes. 

At first it's hard to chew, but then I taste the juice,

Its sweet, yummy, child-like flavor

I close my locker and walk away.  I can see, I can think again. 

By the time I get to study hall my gum has lost flavor. 

It's as hard as a rock in my mouth, my jaw aches. 

I take it in two fingers, and flick it in the trash bin. 

And that's when it hit me. 

You lost, you weakfatworthless girl,

You lost. 

Next time it will be a binge and you'll be even fatter. 

How can you live with yourself?

I'm still starving.