Anthem of the Broke (Future) College Student

The numbers are swarming in front of my eyes,

I say to myself, "I’m better off flipping fries."

Twenty-five thousand just for a year?!

"Well, time to stab my eye with a spear."

How will I pay for higher education?

My stomach pangs with financial starvation.

"I’ll auction my organs or donate my eggs."

I frown for a bit, scratch an itch on my legs.

"I’ll go join the mob." Sure, that sounds attractive.

In black market dealings I’ll be fully proactive.

"I could sell hard drugs or my soul to the devil."

Then I shake my head no; "Nah, I won’t stoop to that level.

I could get a sugar daddy; he’ll pay for my books.

Ugh, wait, no way – just imagine his looks."

I stand up from my desk and pace on the floor,

"Damn, this would be easy if I wasn’t so poor."

I stare out the window and imagine the struggle

of other sad students in need of a snuggle.

“Hey, guys, I feel ya,” I say to the sky,

“When piggy bank savings ain’t enough to supply.

But we need to try, I mean, this is our future.

Can’t wait for a hug and a fix-upper suture.”

I log onto my laptop, blast Disney songs loud.

Remember the promise of success I had vowed.

I’ll scour the internet both far and both wide;

Grants, loans, and side jobs will help me provide.

Hopefully, then, I think to myself…

‘I’LL BE ABLE TO PAY FOR COLLEGE WITHOUT FALLING INTO A HELL OF PITIFUL DESPERATION AND DEBT THAT WILL HAUNT ME UNTIL I'M IN MY MID-THIRTIES.’

 

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