Apologize

Fri, 10/30/2015 - 00:00 -- Damodar

Location

Lalitpur
fulbari, pokhara
Nepal

Prologue: I was broke entirely. Even a word of love can’t take out from my mouth. I promised to someone that, I will love her last till grave. That, probability delivering future tense “will” and a nonsense transitive verb “promise” slapped me exactly opposite.

My soul said, why are you crazy for her who doesn’t expect any love from your side?

Hey are you kidding with me!

“Impressive”

Hey listen, we are just best friends. Moreover, she has a boyfriend. There is a line, a line that shouldn’t be crossed and that’s my limit.

Ok from this time, I don’t say that’s your girlfriend. Hey, a word “girl friend” is suitable right! In which there is a space between girl and friend. A space which shows your friend zone. Ha-ha

Stop hooking in this topic. She is coming and I’m dying to say sorry. I realized that a damn doldrums will occur when someone left me again. I don’t want this, I am so scared. Listen again, she was angered with me because I don’t want to tell the truth of why I’m always missed my past love. She angrily said, you can’t love another when you can’t be able to forget her. Then, I threw the lots of thunderous words to her that was so rough. Today, I feel like, I am in the place where there is a full volume silence from her side.

Hilarious situation award goes to you. Ha-ha, Your bad!

Don’t be boom ok. I am just trying to lighten the mood. Ha-ha

Sincerely, I have to say. Don’t share your past love to her. May be it feel hurt when she heard? Moreover that’s a feeling of love.

Nope, it’s a sincerity for the sake of our friend zone.

Stop! She has her one and I don’t want to mesh up their relation. Ok!

 God, how’d it get so cold? It wasn’t cold at all before.

 

I was plunged in the depth of the ocean,

I was so scared in the dark room alone.

I couldn’t concentrate what the heck is going inside my life.

All I wanted to slice my damn misery by knife.

Slices are quiet enough to break my heart.

But why I am choosing that past, that was so absurd.

Hear the truth, you have ever known.

And I’m a guy who haven’t yet shown.

There was a girl, I was plunged in love that made us one from two.

Again, I have to say, she was too.

Dear friend, I want you to hear. No matter how angered with me.

Please……Please I am really sorry, my head will lie in your knee.

I pictured in my mind of her.

But, I didn’t felt warmed by fur.

She was gone with someone that no one else had ever shown.

But I was just strong enough to give my words through phone.

My heart goes deeper and deeper when I reminds the voice from someone.

I am goona insane sharper and sharper when it bounced back further and further.

A reality is not a drama that could played in stage.

I am not a type like barbarian, Romans called as a savage.

A boy with kindhearted turned into lots of torn.

It’s not my life faults that handed me a gun.

A gun with no bullets in.

It’s rather useless than a pin.

I felt like, I am void; keen.

I want to find my princess to fit in.

I realized, it’s just a fake drama playing in my head.

Giggling me in front and kicking in my bed.

I realized, it’s just giggled from bottom to tip.

Not a faith that’s to sip.

I realized, I’m a man and be like a man.

I realized, a man who is brave enough to fight in any obstacles.

A courageous person who says,

Love isn’t happen with just saying “I LOVE YOU”.

But from a reality that we do.

Today, I want to tell you a truth,

Why am so! From kind hearted to crook.

Hey, listen

I have a silence in my mouth,

I’m no brave enough to tell a truth, till now.

I try to ripped the pensive mood but further myself freaky,

My days and nights are seems somewhat gloomy.

Just the thought of how much pain there is to feel overwhelms me,

Around 1 year love from her, lots of loan to pay for free.

My dear, how can I forget and leaves you behind like this,

Everything I know of yours from sis.

She has no pair of kidney

Can you believe how I can found my patience key?

She somehow cheated on me,

Because I couldn’t understand what’s the love for me.

My nights are recurring,

Not because she hurts my feelings.

But because today I realized,

She loved me more than I did.

Sorry for the thing I never said, what I got.

I don’t want to feel by others, the thing that recurred me a lot.

This poem is about: 
My community

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