Artifact

Locations

Wharton, TX
United States
Wharton, TX
United States

Love me. Hold me and never let me go. This world is too heavy for me to carry by myself and I cannot deal with these demons of mine on my own. I need someone to help me, I need a savior, and I need a light, a soul, a sound, a prayer, a touch, something. I need help, I feel so lost in this world all by myself and I cannot seem to find the very distinct path that I am supposed to be following because instead I got lost in the forest looking for a small flower that someone told me was in a small patch of grass that was never really there. I was lied to once again. And now, deep within the forest, not being smart enough to preserve my steps, I have no clue where to turn next. It is cold and dark and I am alone, someone help me please.
         
                   When all is bad, all is horrific, and my soul seems to be seeping out of my body once more, a suttle breeze drifts my way. A light is shined down on me, and the trees separate giving me a clear view of the path that I was once on. Oh how beautiful it is, there and everlasting. My heart beats with excitement because there is a light that is leading me to the path, where water floods my spirit. Faster, beats my heart  than my mind because I am so over whelmed with happiness that I might faint because the very thing I have been looking for – peace, has been in front of my face the entire time.


            I continue to walk along the path that has been written for me, and I am led to a mass of water, great and plenty. Oh should I submerge myself in such a beautiful body of water that I know will cleanse my hands that have been polluted by the dirty forest, that have been cut and damaged by the many times I have fallen and tried to grab onto a branch that was sticking out but was not enough to catch me? Should I submerge myself and wash these wounds that have been so deeply cut into my heart that it is nearly impossible to recover from? Should I strip myself of these clothes, ones of which are torn, worn and filthy with the deceit and lies and rejection that have been poured upon me over and over again so much that I am drenched from the tears that I tried to dry but never could stop from falling from my weary eyes? Should I break this chain that I have been hooked to for so long, the one that holds me back from the very thing that I have been straining my arms and back for while reaching out, hoping to grab a hold of something that will help me haul myself onto a platform, one that I can grab a hold of and pull the chain from the dry and brittle ground? Yes, I am ready, take me away.

 

                I submerge myself into the water, letting it flood every single inch of my very soul, letting it finally rid me of all of these demons that have been scratching at my back, making me so weary that I cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror for fear of seeing the horrors that constantly haunt me.  My hair floats lifelessly as I sink to the bottom of the mass of water. Is there even a bottom? I pull this chain from the dry and brittle ground, letting myself free from this oppression that has burdened my heart and disturbed my mind for so long. I strip myself of these clothes, leaving myself humble and bare with a nakedness that makes me feel for once free, and repaired. My heart is no longer bleeding, no, I am no longer broken. Was I ever? I am not an artifact and though I am fragile and though the most sudden agitation could disturb me and cause me to fall I am not an artifact. My hands are strong and powerful, no longer are these cuts visible for the world to see and mock, for the world does not understand the sorrow that has cursed so many of our children. I will not give up, I am not alone.


               My heart is like a bowl over flowing with purified water, sweet and cool for the thirsty mouth that drinks it and is saved by its saving grace. I have become strong for I have fallen once more, and will get up to carry on with strong steps that will no longer drag upon the earth and make my feet raw and bloody. My arms are strong enough to carry the burdens of others as well as mine, if there is even any,  but still I cannot do it alone, this light has shined upon me and has given me strength and wisdom like none has ever known before. I am no fool, for fools never stand up once they have fallen so many times. I speak in a language that the world could never possibly understand, oh how my mind is a glorious creation of magnificent wonders and imagination. This world is too close minded to recognize the true beauty of a simple minded man, and criticizes the intricate beauty of an extramundane man. But this is ok. Creation is unadorned, and adjacently, it is sacrosanct.
   
                         So let us dance, hand in hand. Let us sway, because we are free. Let us no longer be chaired by our fears and sorrows because they are unrealistic and temporary and life is too short to be controlled by such lifeless things such as those. Let us not feel rejection because one foolish man or woman decided to leave us alone with our parent who is just as broken if not more, and causes us to be hurt by so many other men or women. Do not be controlled by your desires to be loved, because no man or woman can love you as much as the father in heaven can, and no matter if you believe it is true or not, I am a living template that no amount of earthly love can ever make you feel complete. Let us remember that we are all human, and we all fall, but we can never give up no matter how heavy the burdens of this world get. Let us all be submerged in the mass of water to be renewed, so we can become strong within ourselves. I am no longer plagued, like so many of todays youth, with the feeling of rejection. I have learned to love, and to be loved. I have learned that not only does loving yourself before anyone else matter, but the very lie of being afraid of being alone is the main problem with my brother and sisters. So, using my life as a living testimony, my love, trust me, you are not alone. You never will be.

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