Looking at my pictures let the narcissist bloom

I buried my sadness to give happiness room,

but instead of being happy I just create fear

To look in the mirror and see the same leer

My ‘blackness’ cannot feel pain so I shed no tears

Even though i carry more hurt than I can bear

The reflection is a reminder of who I am

The profiles are reminders of who I scam

Its hard to live up to the status of more than average

Ignoring my flaws is also ignoring my passage

The damage of broken relationships make me

The stream of violence clings when I try to break free

Gifted with a voice, but no words would come out

As I witness my mom with a person who is all about

dominance, her nature to stay and mine to go

Conflicted to the point that I loss a sense of home

No one believes my struggle in social situations

Because i masked it along with my stagnation

Plus no one wants to admit that society creates,

a pedestal for one to stand  another to await

Opportunities that were in my reach float away

Down the stream of life with tranquil sway

DIstractions become my excuses for relinquishing

All of my passions that I was close to finishing

Always would put myself down and didn't know why

The blue of the sky invisible to my eye

That could only see the mistakes i made

Instead of the accomplishments that i shade

On my personal canvas but I’ m not an artist

Then again I am otherwise how could i start this

to admit weakness does not make me weak

I’m not afraid to let my soul drip and leak

sometimes I can be my worst critic just by overthinking

to the point that my creations begin sinking

I cannot swim fast enough to save them in time,

but if I let them drown then I am committing a crime

With the skills that I constantly belittled I grab a rod

Reel them with speed that is worthy of awed

It instinct to save my imagination because thats me

I always hated some of my identities, but that’s me

I’m almost there, to the day where I can finally see

That there is nothing wrong with being me