Awash or afloat, which is more dead

I never wanted to see it
Deteriorated faces that pass all around
Looking past me at what their lifeless black orbs could not find
 
I never wanted to acknowledge it, to accept it
To stare at it straight on like it's the only thing there to view
And pretend as if I'm not afraid of it
 
I never asked to be apart of it
To become just another weary face added to the collection
Another mannequin on display that is overlooked and invisible
Blank face, empty porcelain hide, cavernous eyes filled with less emotion than the merciless void of a black hole 
 
I thought I was rescued from the sea of misery occasionally, but it always ended up a mirage
And on the off chance an opportunity of escape arose, it tended to end worse than where I escaped from
Plucked like a tragic lost treasure from the bottom of the ocean, only to drown on the shore
Sweet vertigo
Lungs never felt so heavy
That I may not breathe happiness
Hearts never lay so still
So that I may not beat cruelty
Eyes never shone so dull
That the pure liquid of their own tears would not take the effort to reflect them 
Empty life boats collide with the floating debris of people lost in "the flow"
Tarnished specimens
The definition of hopeless
 
Are you awash or afloat?
Because when awash, the banks fill tirelessly until all in it sink in the muddy pits
Because when afloat, the waves seek vengeance on the creatures who have explored the troves of the land
 
Are you awash or afloat?
Because both end where light cannot reach to end the nightmare and banish the monsters
No one is more dead unless rebirth threatens to repeat their torturous existence 
 
Are you awash or afloat?
Because last time I checked, my veins bleed at the hands of words, black letters dancing along white horizons and my heart beat is fueled by my thoughts that scream out for a  life that will not push me under the surface
 
I grab my pen, my life preserver, and hash out the remainder of my life so that I may never have to ask myself again
Are you awash or afloat?
 
 

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