Bare Face
5.51 am
The sound of my alarm reverberates through my right earhole to my left
I try to fight the urge to go back to the realm where I lay down and forget everything
5.55 am
I step into the bathroom and look at the mirror
Swollen face, half closed eyes, drools accesorizing on both side of my lips
Hair going to every possible direction, undecided
5.56 am
I lift the faucet handle and let the cold water disperse, following every lines on the palm of my hands
In a scooping motion, my palms catapult the water to my face
I feel chills going through my veins, it was as cold as a cadaver
My face looks like a cadaver
6.00 am
I settle myself down on my dressing table
Like a butterfly, I am going to metamorphose
I take my mascara wand, place it parallel to my thin lashes and starting to brush it back and forth
Then I add my eyeliner, because it enhances the shape of my eye
Then my brows, I fill them in because I like them big and bold
I look back at the mirror and smile
"I look better and more awake this way"
A little piece inside of me died
I lost my sense of identity with all these chemical products that make me look superficial
But then again what is fitting in without being pretty?
How many people will like my instagram picture when I don't wear make up?
It is like I lost and gain self confidence at the same time
Am I still the same person, you bet I am
Is it bad to please others?
It depends
Because at the end when those make up come off, those who don't question. "are you sick?" or "why do you look pale?"
Are the ones who accept you for who you are
The ones that congratulates you for your natural beauty
They are the ones that look past the surface of your skin
The ones that reach through those layers to get to know the real you
And as for me, me without make up is still the same version of me wearing make up
Embracing my insecurities, my beliefs, and my thoughts via make up
I am strong, and make up helps me to feel that force
It takes time to develop that courage to go with a bare face
But for now, I will come at you with my bare soul
Who I really am, what I greatly value, what I want to say, why I feel like I matter, NO FILTER.