Beauty In Me

Seeing the beauty in me

that everyone tells me about

is hader to see than you think.

I only see my flaws

because these flaws are all I think everyone sees

they see that because

when I was younger

I was the ugly one

The slut

The whore

The know it all

The stupid one

The one that didn't fit in

And fitting in is all that matters.

That was where people would talk to you

Hang with you

Be seen with you

You weren't the outcast at recess

the one who just read a book

or sat on the grass by themselves

because no one would talk to you.

 

But this beauty that people say I have

The kids took it away

Played with it until it

Wasn't pretty anymore

then they moved on to the next kid

while I sat there

trying to fix myself up

lick my wounds clean

but before I can finish healing

the other kids noticed the beauty and wanted it again

they took it away

Stomped on it

Kicked it around

Played a litte soccer with it

Throwing it back to me when they were done

And the process starts all over

Again

 

But that is the past,

now we all have grown up

still the beauty people play with

It' still broken, still dirty

Still covered in scars

School is still a living hel

but I learned to fake a smile, act like you don't care

But at night. Alone.

the Pain takes over

 

No more faking it,

no more smiling and acting

I am finally free of pretend

 

The cuts get deeper and deeper

and life becomes a thing to play with

 

So don't tell me I'm pretty because it will add to the pain

Just tell me you understand and let me be

I will come to you when I need it.

 

This beauty you see in me it'l show up

When I start to see past these scars

and start to see the good things

My eyes,

hair,

smile,

it may be small but some of these scars

are too big to fix

Just be patient because this beauty is just

starting to show itself to me.

 

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