Because I'm Obedient

No one knows what I've been hiding,

And if I tell they'll think I'm lying.
He's a Pastor,
And she's his wife,
Together they live the "perfect life."
 
Or so you think til I confess,
The little secret that I possess.
 
I'm her child,
So she's my mom.
She doesn't accept
Where I choose to belong.
 
It started when I was just so tall,
And I wanted nothing more
Than to play with the ball.
 
I kid I kid:
I gave her head,
While watching cartoons,
laying in the bed.
 
From that day on
I changed my demeanor
To fit where she wanted:
Yeh, I couldn't beat her.
 
I fooled everyone,
And No one could tell,
But I knew my life would be a living hell.
 
I still don't know what I'm supposed to do,
And I pray to God, he'll give me a clue.
 
I don't act myself:
Which is as GAY as can be.
I'm loud and obnoxious,
That just ain't me!
And if I could change I would be ANYTHING.
 
I act mean, and I'm hyper.
But you can say I'm really a 'shy showstopper'
cause I've broken my heart,
Trying to be what I'm not.
 
Stunting..
 
They think they know me,
But I promise they don't.
Not yet of course,
I must, o I must
pull the curtain first.
 
I claim I'm so real,
But I can't even tell,
I know for a fact that she's going to yell.
 
"Just tell them" I say,
only talking alone
To me and myself
 
Because 'I' is gone.
 
She'll disown and reject everything I've become,
Most likely won't talk in a calm soothing tone.
I'll then speak up and hope to survive,
 
The sad ass truth that'll then become lies.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741