I'm just a typical teenage girl, but I still struggle.
My thoughts engulf me. I wish I could escape.
The girl you assume you know is probably fake.
Disguised by a mask of invincibility, pretending to be strong,
Only wishing to relive the past; back in time.
I want to relive the days before school, when I was young.
I wasn't naive, I was simply a child; young.
I didn't know of a world of hurt, pain, and struggle.
I wish that were still true, if only for a short time.
Those were the days where I saw beauty in everything, I didn't need to escape.
I didn't have to be a stone wall, undefeatable and strong.
I shouldn't act like in four now, but maybe I shouldn't be fake.
Enough is enough. I'm done living a lie, done being fake.
I'm returning to my mindset of when I was young.
Back to the days when I had hope, even when I wasn't strong.
Reliving the days when I had someone to lean on through a struggle.
Where my dreams were as big as the ocean, and my dreams were my escape.
Yes, I've said it before, but I mean it this time.
There is hope, and I will change even if it requires time.
I may need a lifetime, but I'm not going to be fake.
I'm not going to be the one who needs to constantly escape.
I have secrets, ones I would have told when I was young,
But now, people judge me, and not caring about it is a struggle.
My first secret? I crumble when the world tells me to be strong.
When I'm upset, the last thing I want to hear is "just be strong."
I'm secretly afraid life will just get worse with time.
Even when I strike one as being jubilant, there's always an internal struggle.
This is only the beginning, should I continue, or go back to being fake?
Let's continue. I loathe the word "emo," it labels too many people who are too young.
I'm secretly a metal-head. Loud music exterminates my thoughts; it's my escape.
I wish more people would support others, then suicide wouldn't be their escape.
I wish we would build each other up, not tell each other, but make each other strong.
I wish we didn't know prejudices, accepting everyone like we were young.
I wish we could step back, feel the sun on our face, not be rushed by time.
I wish beauty weren't a supermodel or a Barbie. I wish it wasn't fake.
I wish my wishes weren't my biggest struggles.
I struggle with a lot, so sometimes I just need a safe escape.
I know I'm weak, done being fake, and taking down the facade, but determination makes me strong.
But for now, I'll just go back in time to the mindset of when I was young.