Better Days

Location

 

I'm just a typical teenage girl, but I still struggle.

My thoughts engulf me. I wish I could escape.

The girl you assume you know is probably fake.

Disguised by a mask of invincibility, pretending to be strong,

Only wishing to relive the past; back in time.

I want to relive the days before school, when I was young.

 

I wasn't naive, I was simply a child; young.

I didn't know of a world of hurt, pain, and struggle.

I wish that were still true, if only for a short time.

Those were the days where I saw beauty in everything, I didn't need to escape.

I didn't have to be a stone wall, undefeatable and strong.

I shouldn't act like in four now, but maybe I shouldn't be fake.

 

Enough is enough. I'm done living a lie, done being fake.

I'm returning to my mindset of when I was young.

Back to the days when I had hope, even when I wasn't strong.

Reliving the days when I had someone to lean on through a struggle.

Where my dreams were as big as the ocean, and my dreams were my escape.

Yes, I've said it before, but I mean it this time.

 

There is hope, and I will change even if it requires time.

I may need a lifetime, but I'm not going to be fake.

I'm not going to be the one who needs to constantly escape.

I have secrets, ones I would have told when I was young,

But now, people judge me, and not caring about it is a struggle.

My first secret? I crumble when the world tells me to be strong.

 

When I'm upset, the last thing I want to hear is "just be strong."

I'm secretly afraid life will just get worse with time.

Even when I strike one as being jubilant, there's always an internal struggle.

This is only the beginning, should I continue, or go back to being fake?

Let's continue. I loathe the word "emo," it labels too many people who are too young.

I'm secretly a metal-head. Loud music exterminates my thoughts; it's my escape.

 

I wish more people would support others, then suicide wouldn't be their escape.

I wish we would build each other up, not tell each other, but make each other strong.

I wish we didn't know prejudices, accepting everyone like we were young.

I wish we could step back, feel the sun on our face, not be rushed by time.

I wish beauty weren't a supermodel or a Barbie. I wish it wasn't fake.

I wish my wishes weren't my biggest struggles.

 

I struggle with a lot, so sometimes I just need a safe escape.

I know I'm weak, done being fake, and taking down the facade, but determination makes me strong.

But for now, I'll just go back in time to the mindset of when I was young.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741