You make me doubt myself

Hate myself

Make me not want to believe in myself

Give me the chills

Then knock me out

I was a fighter

Now you’ve got me pinned down

Between the thoughts and the clocks

Spewing opinions like they blow chunks

Hands won’t stop

Air quotes and tick tocks

All the words are floating around

Like back wash in your mothers cup

When she forgets to wash the alcohol

From her perfectly parted lips

Daughter daughter daughter,

That’s what they taught me to be

But I’m failing the people who call me sister

These bullshit comments leaving blisters

Falling from the monkey bars didn’t seem scary

But failing you now

Is way to heavy

Of a weight

Of a problem for me to handle

And these words, these thoughts

They aren’t of myself

Get a job

Make the grade

Stop telling me I drink too much

Tell me I’m something

Tell me I’m worth something

That my time wasn’t wasted

On apparently wasting yours

Tell me I didn’t fuck up

The way mom and dad did

Tell me that they slowly didn’t stop saying

I love you

I adore you whore

Tell me I’m different

Tell me I’m fucking different

Tell me I’m the exception

Just like they told you

That maybe

Just maybe

You’re a little different

That you’re not a whore 

That I’m not a drinker

Or maybe I’m the overthinking asshole

Who is just a little fucking bitter