The cloud surrounding my mind is dark
The storm lasts for days and days
Weeks and weeks
Months and Months
So many years
What was it like before the rain?
Who am I when it stops?
Does this darkness define me?
The ever-lasting internal battle
To sleep forever
To never sleep at all
Old friend, I once knew so well
Do forgive me, this half-smile hurts worse than you could imagine
For everything hurts.
My every bone, muscle, thought.
My very soul aches.
My mind is my greatest weapon
But it has overpowered me
It is a beast I can no longer control
I try everyday to hold it back
Sometimes I win
Others I fear I was never in control at all
I hope one day
To know myself
For who I was, who I am, who I could be
On a sunny day without a cloud in sight.