Broken

 
 
Staring at coffee cold and black
Looking into her empty house her empty life 
with her empty eyes that don't look back  
Seeing only shadows
Shadows laughing loving living
Shadows mocking
Shadows dancing dining doing
Shadows taunting
Memories sharp memories fading
Memories steal the happiness away
Happiness evading
Laughs long lost echo through the silent halls
Deafening silence
Stored away toys and hidden balls
Photos hidden away  from sight
They were just too much to bear
Their faces in every photo
Their smiles are everywhere
 
An accident an accident
Is what the police had said
When they came knocking on the door
Then everything went red 
 
Coffee smashing on the tile
Why did she let herself remember?
She lay there huddled in a pile
But she can’t stop the memories from flowing
The memories from crashing
The memories from showing
 
They tried to stay together
Her and him
But with so many pieces missing
The hope was always slim 
 
Grasp the counter gasp for air
The knot in her chest wrenching
She can see them standing there
last time they said goodbye
Dressed in small pink dresses
Waving little hands
these thoughts her mind oppresses 
 
She can’t help but see the clock
It’s time for her to go
Off to work another day
Where her heart she cannot show 
 
Once she’s there they come in smiling
Filing in one by one
Put your lunch pale’s in your cubbies
Fill seats till there are none
She looks at their faces about the same age
Stop don't let the tears run down
Her mind is her own cage 
 
She thought this would be easier
She couldn’t go back to where she worked before
Where smiles held pity and  eyes said sorry
Their looks just made her sore
She didn’t want their sorry
She didn’t want their pity
All she wanted was to blend
Not their charity 
 
So she moved somewhere fresh and new
somewhere they wouldn't know
That her insides were broken
Somewhere she wouldn't show
 
So she thought she would become a teacher
And 30 could replace what was lost
But the heart doesn’t know to add
They couldn't counter act the cost 
 
Children are supposed to bring delight
Children make you happy
But even they could not put it right
For all she saw was children growing
And knew that hers could not
And all she saw was children laughing
And knew their laugh would be forgot
And all she saw  was children playing
And knew the pain it brought 
 
In her own personal torture chamber
Everyday she suffered here
Though she might think to get away
The piling bills would keep her there
 
And so she grew more bitter
And sometimes just plain frightful
She treated them cold
And also downright spiteful
So little ones, try to be tough
Brush off the bitter looks
Although you'll try you'll never be enough
But children do not understand why their teacher hates them
But teacher, teacher, broken teacher, broken teacher admire me
Teacher, teacher, broken teacher, broken teacher tell me
Teacher, teacher, broken teacher, broken teacher inspire me
Teacher, teacher, broken teacher, broken teacher lead me
Teacher, teacher, broken teacher, broken teacher inquire me
Broken teacher save me
 
Broken children dry your tears
It’s not your fault you’re broken
For broken teachers send broken children into a broken world
Broken down from words said and words still left unspoken
And between each other we don't have the pieces
To make each other whole
So broken we remain
Whole body broken soul 
 
For how can you give yourself to others
When you don't have enough to keep
Your own self kept together
Misery is all you reap 
 
The world is full of broken teachers
All with different reasons
Bad self-esteem
Just getting through the seasons
Need for control
Looking for significance
Looking to be secure
Looking for an audience
They have the job confused
For it is the teacher’s job to do the fixing
The system you've abused
 
  
 
 

Comments

jamjam

This made me cry. It is a truly AMAZING poem. Wow just wow! 

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