Broken and Drained

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Broken and drained, I’m vacant inside.
The hurt I couldn’t handle overflowed to a knife

The blade on my arm helps me feel alive.
I’ve learned to fake the smile
But feel no emotion
Shut down the tears, I go through the motions.

Hating myself and what I’ve become
I feel without help as I speak to my Creator,
A soft prayer to the Lord above
Please save me from spilling my own blood.

I cry out to be changed, to be transformed
Wondering if this is how I’m meant to be
Never to be fully restored
Always filled with continual strife..

Though maybe God has a better plan for me
A way to cope and to finally be free
Free of the anger, sadness and depression
To not draw blood to transmit my expression
 
It hasn’t been easy, to resist temptation is hard
But maybe time will finally heal these scars.

And the questions will stop

I’ve given away the blade and made a vow
That no more cuts will I allow.
With each day that passes my own life I save

Each moment of courage, a winner is made.

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