Character Concealed Behind the Curtain

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Most of the time, I feel like a fraud,

I walk around numb, with a plastered on smile,

I receive "hello's!"  and "goodbye's" with a simple nod,

All in the hopes of staying in denial. 

 

I know people think I'm a bubbly girl,

Never without something to say,

Always smiling and laughing, making my own way in the world,

But inside I feel like a dead bug on display. 

 

I want to know when I'll stop feeling alone,

And just when all the pain will dry up and go away,

But I don't know the future, or when I'll find a "home,"

In ten years, two years, five months, today? 

 

But I'll keep on hoping as I wait, living life,

If that's what you call it- it doesn't feel like "livin' " 

People who "live" aren't afraid of a knife,

But those who are alive treasure each moment they are given.

 

I wish I could feel happy,

Even for a moment, a minute,

But I feel like a cloud is hanging over my head, making me feel crappy,

That minute of happiness would be without limit. 

 

 

 

 

 

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