Charcoal heart

Location

Still beating,

Dull black

Delicate

My heart beats out of tune

Off key and alone.

One steady beat in disarray

It beats

breaks

Burns

and repeats

Breaking with each word

“she’s gone”

“he left”

“he’s not coming”

“you’re not good enough”

It  beats

breaks

Burns

and repeats

It breaks and I cauterize it

The burning stops one pain and starts another.

The burns get more and more painful leaving ugly scars

They say what doesn't kill is going to make you stronger

But all I've got is scar tissue upon scar tissue.

It beats

breaks

Burns

and repeats

Burning to mask the pain

My fear has finally set in

pieces of my heart have turned to black

Those pieces are now so delicate when touched they turn to ash.

I fear my scarred heart will turn completely to charcoal.

When it breaks again

there will be nothing left to burn

It will simply

crumble

and fade like it never existed at all

Leaving me a shell

Lifeless

Like a piece of charcoal.

It beats it breaks it burns....

Beating fainter each time

on and on

I can't help but wonder why I did this to myself

I guess i'm just too much of a coward to actually do anything about it

I could never really hold a match to my skin and watch it burn

Emotional turmoil appears to be my poison

I hide where no one can see

within my own mind lighting little fires

Reeking havoc on my own little world

when I kill the pain I kill everything

The part that loves

the part that hates

All im left with is numb

and piece of beating charcoal

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
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