Tears are slowly accumulating

At the corner of my eye

I hold my stomach aching in pain

Each successive breath is slowly becoming too difficult to make

Then I calm down…

 

...laughter is so powerful

 

Sometimes I grow weak from my joy

It’s difficult to function

Yet it is when I feel most human,

At my pinnacle state

Tension lies in this joy however,

I am not allowed to let it dwell inside me for too long

 

Life has made me used to a certain sequence of events

Stability and happiness are always so wavering

They’re unreliable, yet one of the best comraderies

I try my hardest not to become dependent on them

Every time I do, I find myself shattered

 

“Laughing leads to greater sorrows,”

Mother used to tell me.

It still poses a reminding thought in my mind

It keeps me agitated

My innate response is to cap laughter and happiness to save future melancholy

 

The irony of it all is

In this lifestyle,

In order to stay happy,

One must stay sad.

Hiding from happiness.

 

This is the life of a coward

Running away from trouble

Running away from the good

Everything has to be faced

Eluding cannot suffice long enough

The gift of life rests in its uncertainty

 

Even if trouble does set forth,

After joy,

I must stay thankful for the tears, aches, and each difficult breath,

Good and bad.

I will live to see it all.