Tears are slowly accumulating
At the corner of my eye
I hold my stomach aching in pain
Each successive breath is slowly becoming too difficult to make
Then I calm down…
...laughter is so powerful
Sometimes I grow weak from my joy
It’s difficult to function
Yet it is when I feel most human,
At my pinnacle state
Tension lies in this joy however,
I am not allowed to let it dwell inside me for too long
Life has made me used to a certain sequence of events
Stability and happiness are always so wavering
They’re unreliable, yet one of the best comraderies
I try my hardest not to become dependent on them
Every time I do, I find myself shattered
“Laughing leads to greater sorrows,”
Mother used to tell me.
It still poses a reminding thought in my mind
It keeps me agitated
My innate response is to cap laughter and happiness to save future melancholy
The irony of it all is
In this lifestyle,
In order to stay happy,
One must stay sad.
Hiding from happiness.
This is the life of a coward
Running away from trouble
Running away from the good
Everything has to be faced
Eluding cannot suffice long enough
The gift of life rests in its uncertainty
Even if trouble does set forth,
I must stay thankful for the tears, aches, and each difficult breath,
Good and bad.
I will live to see it all.