Childish Thoughts

There was English class, 5th grade

The lesson was poetry

I was only doing it for the grade

I was child, I promise I didn't know

The beginning of it all was so innocent

A little rhyme scheme here 

Some more wordplay there

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

The first few were read in class

They were dissected, made understandable

Suddenly I was enchanted by the beauty of it all

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

Ten minutes to the end of the beginning

Homework : your personal poem is due next class

Groans from all over the room

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

Thoughts and questions surfaced and drowned 

Who am I? What do I want ?

How do I make the words flow?

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

The ride home the longest journey

Almost at home stretch

The pencil will meet the paper

I was a child, I promise I didn't know 

Uggh, frustration. I am stuck

The words won't come to me

What do I do to strike inspiration in me?

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

Time waits for no man

I'm a woman so it stopped for me

The words came, they were there all along

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

I let myself go in the words

I was no longer her; she became the words

She had found the fountain of youth

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

Unknowingly immortalized by pen & paper

The fire had been ignited 

It was no longer for the grade

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

She was satisfied, her soul at ease

Emotions: erased and transformed

Beautifully strung together words gave her meaning

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

She took over, felt important

She wanted to inspire, she loved to rhyme

Driven by the feeling of pen on paper

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

She felt safe, she created a healthy space

It motivated her, she wanted better

And then she crashed !

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

She had lost her motivation

Anger, sadness, and pain crept in

She left, and I became myself

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

I became overwhelmed, buried alive

The weight of life and it's countless burdens took its toll

I had an itch, a craving

I was a child I promise I didn't know

The desires led to temptation 

The fire simply needed to be relit 

The rage escaped onto paper, she became the words

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

She claimed the peace,

The torturer had led her to the remedy

Beautiful words danced in her mind

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

She tried to keep it up

Maintain the the flow of words

She never wants them to dry or escape her

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

The words disappeared, she left

I'm all alone again, the pain drips and taints my soul

Tarnished; am I half full or half empty?

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

The cycle continues, I'm tired

She returns, lifting the weight of the sorrow with words

A temporary muse, a small window of freedom

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

I get an itch, a small craving

The circle of pain repeats, over and over

I have become addicted

I was a child, I promise I didn't know 

And so now whenever I feel the pain 

Pushing down on me, begging me to give in

She returns, the words a knife, my emotions bleed out

I was a child, I promise I didn't know

I have become accustomed to her schedule

Now I welcome the pain, I relish in the anger

They bring me the flow and she, she helps me bleed

I'm addicted to the beauty in her words

I'm trapped by the false hopes and dreams she tries to free me with

I'm bound to this sorry cycle, curiosity's led me astray

I can't go back, I'm in too deep, I am hooked

No excuse, except

I was a child, I promise I didn't know.

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

ZELDA8888

Loved the repetition in the poem! definitely relatable and a bit detrimental. Good wishes

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