Clear Expectations

I miss the days where grades were illustrated by stickers, where nap time was a part of the curriculum, and when Saturday morning cartoons proved to be the only drama to stir up any conversation. In school we are expected to jump from being babies, to being babied, on to adulthood, now I don’t know about you, but I believe in baby steps. I get it, you get older, you go through school, you do the work, but what are you preparing me for? Life is an unwinnable game, each grade, each stage, each level, only getting harder, until you, you get so tired, so worn out, that eventually… Game Over. So that’s it, you breathe, you grow, you live, you die. You live, this has to be the biggest lie on the face of the planet. People will tell you to be yourself, do what makes you happy, live because tomorrow might not be here, but I’m surrounded by hypocrites. See people tell you to do what makes you happy and so you do, you give them your best, no, matter of fact, you give them your all, but they always want more. We let you do whatever you please, you should at least have some responsibility right? It’s only fair. Now that You’re responsible, we can trust you to always do the right thing and to never disgrace the two people who gave you life by being anything less than “a good kid.” That just makes sense. On top of that, let’s add a social life, because a kid be able to function not only in their own worlds but in ours. Go make as many friends as you can, but don’t forget about everything we told you. I don’t see any problem with that. Oh, one last thing you need to get an education because any child of ours will not grow up to be anything less than we are. You need an education, or at least that’s what everyone else is doing, so we’ll have to put you through school. It’s simple really, all you really do is learn a little bit each year about like 8 different things that seem like that matter, it’ll turn out you only like a couple of them, but we’ll need you to be efficient and exceptional in all of them. That’s definitely not asking too much. If you just listen and follow the rules, that is of course if you remember all of them, then you will become what people “expect” you to be. You won’t be what you want to be. If you won’t let me be who I am, how do you “expect” me to live? Unless you’re lying. You must be! Because there’s no way you expect me to be everything at once, it’s not possible. Life’s a game, I don’t know the cheat codes. You’ve gotten through the first levels so you “expect” me too, but how can I live when I’m busy playing a game. I don’t “expect” you to feel sorry for me, just like you don’t “expect” me to complain about anything. Don’t you realize that all over the world, all over the country, all over the state, all over the region, all over the district, all over the city, all over the town, all over our school, all over our neighborhood, kids are “expected” to keep playing this game and keep playing, but everyone’s not as good as you were, some people can’t get through the first levels like you did. People run into obstacles. I can’t be “expected” to be great at a game I have to continuously learn. I mean I’m good. No, stupid, stupid. I’m well. Or is it good in that sentence? Well, forget it. I just thought I’d tell you that you’re expectations are the reason I can barely see over the mountains of essay I have due tomorrow. They’re the reason I can barely hear what anybody who doesn’t speak success is saying. They’re the reason I can’t smell past the rotting bodies of people who saw Game Over, way, way to early. They’re the reason I can’t taste the calories of bullshit I’m being fed by society. They’re the reason I cant feel, at all. Now those stickers are letter and number grades given to us on subjects taught by people who have spent their whole lives studying, Now nap time is at 3 am in the morning because I have to get this project done, 3 hours isn’t sleep, or matter of fact, nap time is when I see people blacked out from booze because a “dope” weekend with your friends, is forgetting all your problems and drowning yourself in liquid fallaciousness, now, anything that draws me away from my life is drama, and I’m okay with that. After all of this, you still expect me to be who I want to be, who you want me to be, who society wants me to be, and more, and that’s why I expect nothing from you.  

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