Clouds
They say God only gives us what we can handle
Which is why I never understood why this burden was placed on me
I’m weak, I’m soft-hearted, I break easily
At some point, my life started blending together
Was I awake?
Was I asleep?
Was this all a dream?
Why couldn’t I escape?
I started making a whole new persona
I would smile at all the right times
I would just live without bothering others
But something didn’t match up
I felt as if I had split myself into two
The girl who was always afraid
And the girl who simply ignored her fears
I thought that if I pushed my fears deep down, I would feel better
I wouldn't have to face the pain if I didn’t acknowledge it existed
But the deeper I pushed it, the bigger the pain grew
Until eventually it would just erupt without warning
And destroy everything in its path
One day I was staring at the sky
The clouds moved and changed shape
Unbothered by the worries of the world
I too wanted to be strong like the clouds
I wanted to change shape and fly on
Even when the wind blew particularly strong
At that moment, my worries seemed extra small compared to the sky
I wanted to live and breathe
Most of all, I wanted to stop worrying
So, I did what the clouds did
I starting taking life day by day
When the wind blew one way
I did not resist anymore
I floated freely
I floated happily
I developed a resiliency that I didn’t know was in me
And now I know that I can handle anything