Courage
Courage is one thing that no one can ever take away from you.
I said this to myself every day
For the longest time.
It was almost like a daily routine.
Wake up
Shower
Get dressed
Draw a semicolon on my wrist
And write CôurAgé up my arm
This is what kept me going through every day
Without losing my mind
For the longest time.
Nobody ever asked.
They never asked about the semicolon on my wrist.
They never took time to question
Why I always wrote CôurAgé on my arm.
I didn't want them to ask.
I was ashamed of myself.
But I always wondered why nobody ever asked.
There were two possible reasons
That always popped into my head.
One
They just didn't care what so ever.
That reason probably isn't too far off.
Two, they didn't need to ask.
They already knew from experience.
The second possibility always terrified me.
It was good to know that I wasn't alone
But I wouldn't wish that pain
And heartache
And constant fear
On my worst enemy.
Every single day
Was just another struggle
And it just kept getting harder and harder.
But every day after I got dressed
Drew the semicolon
And wrote CôurAgé across my skin
I was reminded that I had to keep pushing forward.
I had to keep going
Because no matter what I lost
I would never ever lose my courage to live.
Sometimes I felt like I was about to go over the edge.
And the worst part is
I was okay with it.
But every time I was close to giving up
I had to remind myself
That soon things would go my way.
I had to remind myself
That things would get better
And that there was something
Or someone greater
Waiting for me out there.
So I waited
And waited
And waited
Until finally my day came.
Things started to go right.
I could just feel in my heart
That things were going to start getting better.
And I was right.
All of that waiting and suffering
Finally paid off.
I had found that greater someone out there.
All of what I dealt with
Was worth it.
Once I found them
I had slowly stopped writing CôurAgé on my arm.
And drawing the semicolon
I doubt anyone really noticed
But I felt like it was a statement.
I didn't have to ink my skin every day
To remember to stay strong
And remember to have courage.
I didn't have to do that anymore
Because they are what reminded me
Of all of these things.
Every time I saw their smile
And heard their voice
And looked into their eyes
I just knew that I had a reason
To keep holding on.
A real reason.
Not just some fancy looking letters
On my scarred skin.
I feel stronger now.
I feel like I don't live every day
Like it's just a struggle.
I don't feel ugly anymore.
I don't feel scared.
I feel like every day is a gift.
I now believe that I am beautiful
All because of them.
And I definitely feel
Like I have much more courage
Than ever before.
And I know that things are better now
And that I should cherish every day
And to never lose courage
No matter what.
This poem is about:
Me
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