Young and rebellious, with a heart of gold, and a mind of curiosity,
Experimenting at every corner, always trying new things, so adventurous,
After that one time, that first time,
Drugs are everywhere, always in my life,
Why won’t people give them up? Why are they so great?
My mind spinning with questions, I had to know!
Maybe the drugs could fix me and resolves all my problems,
Meth my solution? Meth my lover?
Waiting anxiously, heart pumping, hands shaking, thoughts racing
A tall bald man approaches.
Pipe’s packed, lighter flickers a bright flame, meth melts, smoke swirls, inhale..
In an instant my life changed. I was hooked. No going back.
Later, another dope fiend arrived, he injected it.
The men glorified the high and rush of the drug going directly into their system.
My turn, numb, naive, no more thoughts, no more questions,
The rest of the week was a blur, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep.
Quickly, I became Crankenstein
High all day, every day, a physically and verbally abusive, heartless 14 year old meth addict,
Hiding from everyone and everything I loved,
The vicious cycle had begun and I couldn’t escape.
Homeless, thieving, running, lying, and dying.
My life became getting high, more importantly staying high.
Paranoia filled me to the top; I couldn’t even trust myself.
No morals, no values,
Depression and shame was building inside me, I lost all touch with reality and sanity.
It took me only two months to become a tornado, destroying everything in my path,
I couldn’t take it anymore, I attempted suicide,
I awoke in an adolescent psych ward
I spent 3 weeks in this locked facility,
It felt impossible to get healthy again,
Eating was painful,
Days were spent crying, screaming in pain and having panic attacks
However, my worst day there was better than my best day high.
Once released, I enrolled myself into treatment.
We moved far away from my traumatic past, although I still face my decisions everyday
God gave me a second chance to live my life,
Most of the people I was with in the past are now dead or in prison,
I will forever struggle with my addiction and shame
It is a life long struggle, that all could have been avoided,
If I never took that first hit.
Today I am a new person,
I have strived and am now thriving,
Some people succeed because they are destined,
I succeed because I am determined,
I will never give up!