It always confuses me when people say I am calm or good at handling stress

One look at my flayed nail beds and they would have a hint at the truth

It always confuses me when my best friend talks about dorming together in college after high school

One listen to my real opinion of her and she would be so hurt...

                                                     (she's a good friend, I love her, but she gives me acute head aches

                                                      at least three times a week)

It always confuses me when my parents say I am smart

One day in my calculus class and they would be disappointed by by forlorn, glazed over expression

It always confuses me when girls or guys say I'm pretty

One moment as my magnified mirror and they would be disgusted by my big nose pores or my beefy elephant knees

It always confuses me when society talks of this curtain we all hide behind as a negative thing

One instant without it and my world would come crumbling down