Cuts Run Deep

My life has been anything but comfortable.

I starved myself, cut my wrists and tried to find anything punishable.

As a little girl you filled shelves with love, you never imagined it get so tough.

Now you’re 12 and a blade is your best friend,

At a young age you learned what it felt like to be dead.

At 16 you’re trying to find your way but I wish you knew not to let the bad ones stay.

Words were words and actions were actions but you my dear were too distracted.

Looking for meaning anywhere you can,

Knowing not a single person would give a damn.

You’re 18 and in love.

Ohh honey he is such a dud.

No guy deserves your time.

Especially one who only makes you cries.

Don’t let him control your life because I promise you babe you will not be his wife.

But the relationship was built on lies and it taught you to be ever so wise.

You’re now a freshman in the unknown;

Stepping on a scale because you feel so alone.

Seeing that number fall some how made you feel tall.

Satisfaction if you will, until you learned that scale was there to kill.

You’re 19 and locked away in a treatment center is where you stay.

A victim of your own mind, if only my love you weren’t so blind.

You lost moments, time and friends but that’s better than being dead.

You begin to learn the truth of recovery-that it wouldn’t be easy.

Your days are filled with questions and questions fill your days.

What if at 22 you would of decided not to stay?

Suicide has always been a thought you worked so hard to fought.

So what is one to do?

Hide behind the fake view?

The one where you know what to say, just to make everyone believe you’re here to stay.

When in reality you’re dying inside, left alone to cry.

You question your worth, appearance and more because for you when it rains it pours.

24 and you’re attempting to find your way.

Knowing that you want to stay.

Recovery hasn’t been easy, I know, but look at all the strength you’ve shown.

In times of triumphs and disbelief you learned to give yourself some relief.

I know you struggle to look in the mirror but it wont be like that forever my dear.

Your scars and journey have paved the way for you to live each day.

You’re here to change the world in a special way.

So hold our head high you beautiful soul and remember who you are is what makes you whole.

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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