damaged love

he was only a boy

yound and bold, unable to be dragged down

smothly surfing along with the tide flow of life

searching for nothing other than love.

 

he spent his days thinking about her

a perfect smile

dazzling eyes

adorable laughter

beautiful face

and charming persnality all together

he often drempt of her

but never before had he ever once experience her

in real life.

 

but once he saw her, he was sure he had found her.

all he had ever wanted and more

she took his hand and lead him deep into the dark pit of hopeless first love

he fell for her

but she caught him multiple times

she said she loved him 

he was sure she was the one

untill one day she let him go

and grabbed hold of the hands of another who she found physically more appealing

and from that day forward a hairline crack appeared along his fragile heart.

because in her eyes he was nt a boy who wanted to love her

he was a toy who was traded in for a new version.

untill again

he saw her, and he knew he had found her

the real girl in his dreams, she had to be her

everything hed ever wanted

and more.

she kissed him and carressed him tenderly every moment the two spoke

she never wanted him to let go of her

her loving touch fueled his strive for perfection.

untill one day, she too let him go

because of physical appearence

being unsatisfactory

and the hairline cracks in his heart were once again pried open

exposed, bleading...

 

untill, once again, he found her.

the girl hed been waiting for.

she stiched up the gashes in his heart 

with her face glowed brighter than the sun

her independent sperit

her admiration for him.

he dreamed of being with her forever

of falling in love

but when he held back physically because of his bleeding heart

she refused to stay any longer

and threw him out with the rest of the trash

ripping out his stitches 

allwing the scars to bleed out onto his wrists 

because he finally realised himself

he was not  good enough

 

he had tried to love

it was his only intention.

he wanted to be loved

but all that came to him was infactuation 

the pain of loneliness shot through his veins

and he tried time and time again to slice them, to bleed them out

but it was as if the his body supplied double the cold sadness

and half the warm crimson blood.

 

the girl stopped coming to him in his dreams

he slwly understood she didnt exist

no one could love him for anythig but his appearence.

 

untill one day, he met her.

to the world, she was the opposite of perfectin

her stormcloud gray eyes fogged over by her scarring past

always pointed to the ground

her smile was fake most of the time,

curling up at the edges at the most

usually to hide the fact that she wasnt okay.

you could tell in her soft voice that she was haunted inside 

by her inner demons and self loath

but there was something about her...

that caused him to be drawn to her.

she looked at him like no other had before.

he felt not just warmth-but feelings and clarity when he stroked her wrist

that of which had scars matching his own

 

 

he wanted to fix her

 

because maybe 

just maybe 

he could fix himself.

 

she said she was a broken toy

she asked him, tears rolling down her cheeks like glistening rivers of despair

to please not get caught up with her.

she begged him every night

t please find another, to please stop loving her so.

she did not want him to leave

but she knew it wasnt fair to him that when he went  in to kiss her cheek shed pull back because his face mrphed into fear and volnerabillity.

she couldnt help the fact that when he held her hand she could only think about her parents misery, and her mother crying softly as she promised her baby girl love was a lie and it didnt exist.

she loved him with a burning hot passion of the sun itself

but she could not get herself to show it

so she built a wall between him and her

distancing him ever so slwly

so he wouldnt get hurt.

 

but he loved her.

she didnt want him for his body or face or any physical features.

she made him feel like a better man

and he swore 

and wou;d continue to swear to this day that

she made his scars heal faster.

 

oh, but what is there to do about 

damaged love

 

 

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