Dear; Fear, Anxiety, and Pressure

Location

63136
United States

Dear Fear,

 

Crippled you have made me past,

and dawned with dread

in every other thought.

Like that which called me, plead 

to be a draught

that I could drink and find no rest.

 

Thank you for your ever-present murmurs

that stay with me

and seek to pull me down.

Without them I could never see,

without them I might drown

before illuminating thoughts from under.

 

Underneath the greatly unknown future

which finds my mind

and leads it from its course.

No longer will I rewind

or feel even a little remorse

for what has come and what has cultured

 

me to be who I am today.

I thank you for the joy 

you have shown me how to feel

when confidence you can’t destroy

builds itself into a seal

that none can penetrate as victory guides my way.

 

Dear Anxiety,

 

You find me; even cloaked

in the dark reaches of my soul.

You clutch and squeeze

until I cannot breathe,

you curse me, and,

in cursing, bind me

behind this unseemly facade

to find my friend (Fear is his name)

and stay where I can see, 

though doubt has covered my eyes.

I seem at ease,

I seem to be of good delight

when, truthfully,

you delight in finding me to tear;

to haunt and to punish me.

You seek to destroy me

even though I could not care

to be the best at what I do,

or be the greatest; but the truth

is that what matters most

is not what you can do.

It’s not what you will bring to me

It’s what I will bring to you.

I will not say it’s over.

I will not say I won’t.

I will think with mind

not shaking hands,

hands which still as fire ignites.

The heart will not be heavy

and the lungs will not give out,

but breathe their all

as breath might give

me strength to push you out.

By pursuing my destruction

you seem to know me well;

you know just how to rattle me,

know my dreams and hopes.

The cruelest trick you pull

on me is the semblance

of control. I could not care

what happens next.

I could not care what I can’t change,

and neither will I fall

even with no feet to walk

or either arms to crawl.

I cannot think

I cannot cry,

I know I have no right.

All that I can do for now

is prepare myself to fight.

 

Dear Pressure,

 

Try as I might, relief will never find me. 

You will never leave me. 

I can't distinguish up from down when you are in the room. 

I cannot see, I cannot hear, I cannot find the way. 

Distraction flows throughout my idle brain. 

There is no path away from you; from your influence. 

But, I'd like to thank you for your interest in conditioning me to strength. 

Showing me that what's around has no effect on what I can or cannot control. 

I have to give you credit for sharpening my mind, for honing all my senses, for keeping me in check. 

I have to give my thanks to you and all that you present;

obstacles and hurdles that seem to impede me along every path I seek. 

My focus is poked by you, prodded and threatened to collapse. 

My countenance is jeopardized by you and your constricting grip. 

But, you give me the opportunity to change my way of thinking; ignore the blatant distractions, 

irrelevant cues. 

You push me into a new perspective, one I'd never thought before. 

So, thank you for the beguiling way you steal into my thoughts.

Thank you for your shaping hands that have made me who I am today.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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