Dear God

Dear God
I don’t understand 
why you would leave me. 
 
I prayed, 
my God, I prayed so hard, 
I followed your rules, 
I preached your word, 
and yet­­--
 
Look where it got me,
God, 
why did you leave me? 
 
I remember thinking 
I’m slipping, 
my God, I’m slipping so quickly, 
save me save me please please­­--
 
Did you hear me, God? 
Did you watch 
my sleepless nights 
and fears made of black? 
Did you watch 
as God turned into god 
and You turned into you? 
 
I feel­­--
same. 
 
There is a strange comfort in knowing 
I hold myself in my own hands.

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