Deceit of the Worst Kind
Location
A Mask
A Curtain
A Covering
I hide behind my face
with sadness etched into the deepest of my soul
hearing the echo of past mistakes
My heart yearns for feeling
but it has nothing to feel for
during the day, I smile and repeat
over and over how I am “fine”
others just see another normal person
dragging on through the crowds,
try not to notice the pain in my eyes
They're lying to themselves.
And when they say,
You can tell the truth.
They really don’t mean it.
And when they say,
Trust me.
They're lying.
They just take and take and take and they never stop
they don’t ask how you are anymore
the flavor is gone
it’s tasteless
the magic is gone
it’s worthless
the weightless feeling of euphoria
took a tumble for the worst
its going downhill
To everyone else, I am an i n s p i r a t i o n
why?
they see the me that I want them to.
they see the me that I am not.
I am not the happy, bubbly, adventurous,
intelligent, dauntless, energetic,
daring, talkative, delightful,
eager, diligent, enthusiastic,
and determined young woman that they know.
I am broken inside.
I’ve learned to smile when they are watching
I am a wreck
Why is it that we’re so quick to judge others?
is it innate?
is it learned over time?
is it the
fact that we all know we do it, but won’t admit it?
I feel I don’t have a place in this world
but maybe one day someone will light the fire.
The fire that hasn’t yet been lit
but why try to when so many people disappoint
because that’s all they know to do?
The reason I keep it in
the reason I keep my flames dulled
why should everyone see me for who I really am?
just a pathetic, shattered girl.
it’s like they're chanting it, over and over
I can’t take any more of it.
it’s too much for me to handle.
why is this happening?
Time and time
again, I’ve been told to be wary.
I guess I have to be more careful next time.