Dependence

How could he?

This man who promised her everything, said he loved her, made a vow.

This man who was protected by her, shielded from horrors that he couldn’t handle on his own.

How could he just throw those years away with one moment?

His greatest fear, to not be accepted, should not have overcome his greatest love.

He blames her for his depression, which he still claims he doesn’t have.

She cries more tears for him than one should ever have.

He says he did it to have his nay be nay.

To have his yay be yay.

How dare he use those words to justify this mistake?

And if that’s the case, keep your nay nay.

Thirty years.

Thirty years you stayed away.

Why would you reopen the wound?

Why would you abuse?

You should’ve known you wouldn’t stay the user.

You're now the used.

He plays with her emotions, tells her he’ll stop.

Literally flushed them down the toilet.

How could you drop?

Back down to that level, that feeling of uselessness

That fills every pore, just like the increments of that drug.

Yes, drug.

Not aid, not hobby, not choice.

But drug.

Or excuse, rather.

A distraction you use because you can’t have her.

Right now her means self-respect, control, honesty.

But soon “her” just might mean me.

And mom.

And life altogether.

You should have never

Started this all over again.

You think I don’t know and I’m forced to pretend

That I don’t notice

How you haven’t slept upstairs in months.

How you come home later than usual.

How you try to make her happy in vain.

She’ll only feel pain

For as long as you only think of yourself.

Grow up.

Think about your health.

She’s always had your back, but since hers has been stabbed

You have to handle this yourself.

Or I'll slowly lose my dad.

This poem is about: 
My family

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