Everyone knows deep down what they want the most in life.
For me,
It was love
And for a while I had it
That beautiful,
Amazing,
Warm feeling.
But then it was gone.

Everybody expected them to last forever.
They didn't.
Fifteen years, 4 dogs, 2 kids, and 1 house probably felt like forever.
It wasn't.

Everybody thought that I was fine
I wasn't.
I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks just praying,
Hoping,
That dad would say he was sorry and mom would forgive him and we would all go home.
It didn't happen.

Two years went by and I was miserable for most of it.
Finally dad found someone.

Everyone thought she was great.
I didn't.

Everyone thought she was right to tell me I wasn't a good influence on her children and that I'm not important to my own father anymore
They were wrong.

Everyone expected me to keep drowning in self pitty and self harm and self hate.
I pushed through.
I stopped looking at myself through eyes that could only see the wrong,
And started looking in the mirror for things of love.

Everyone knows deep down what they want the most in life.
For me,
It was love.
I may not have my "real" dad for that anymore,
But I have a love stronger than one he could ever give me with someone who really cares.

Thank You Justin.
You'll forever be the one who helped me realize that a father's love doesn't always have to come from the father you share blood with.