Don't
I've said too much now
words I did not mean to say
angry words to just drive you away.
and yet I always come back.
I don't like this whole "confiding" thing
it makes me feel vulnerable
voice so weak and wavering
yet I still sing.
I don't want you looking at the broken shards
pointing out my fragmented reality
everyone believes their version is true
I know this is an unfair grudge
but I don't think you are in position
to judge.
and yet you still pass sentence.
so I say the words
the ones I don't mean
don't believe
murder the truths that I've gleaned
so you will leave me alone
even though I need this.
yet I still can't accept it.
I am a wild thing
though I know I need the medicine
jabs and needles
I still lash out
when you
prode my cuts
reactionary pain
makes me drive you away
when honestly
I know I need you to stay.
yet I cannot be a fire without a flame.
so stop lecturing
stop pretending I'm tame
stop acting so innocent
because you think I'll take the blame
I feel so trapped
and cornered
surrounded
by sharp spears
the barbs and the jabs
screams only I can hear.
yet you say it's only game.
well it ain't no fun
over and over
this toxic rerun
I'm holding on with only one finger
so I can't make a fist
I don't think I ever signed up for this.
yet here I am.
here I will stay
for all these things
can't make me go away
nowhere to run
nowhere to hide
this is why I'm trying
to give you these words
from inside.
yet all I can say is:
"don't."