Down Heaven's Halls

This hospital bed’s so lonely

And even the bed sheets are cold

I know things would be different

If I had your little hand to hold

 

You know, the pain was terrible

When I brought you onto Earth

But I knew it’d be forgotten

When I held you after birth

 

Now I’ll never know the feeling

You were gone before I said hi

But I saw a glimpse of heaven

When you blinked those tiny eyes

 

I stare now at the walls around me

So white against such darkness

And I clench my teeth in sorrow

In anger and distress

 

I had a dream before you died

Of me and you and daddy

Running through the long green grass

Of picnicking and laughing

 

Well I guess that will never happen

Now that you’ve gone away

I wish I could have met you

Could have kissed your tiny face

 

They say things happen for a reason

But I don’t see the reason in this

I can’t believe He’d take you

Leave me in a dark abyss

 

My shoulders shake with a sob

And I run my hand through my hair

I want this pain to stop

It’s more than I can bear

 

Perhaps He took you from  me

To spare you this kind of pain

The pain that I am feeling

After you died this dark day

 

I just wish He’d let me whisper

Into your little ear

That I will never, ever forget you

And I’ll love you always, dear

 

But I mustn’t become bitter

Mustn’t hold my hate inside

For I know that He must love you

More than your daddy and I

 

I bury my face in the pillow

And succumb to the racking cries

I try and try to love Him again

But I can only see your eyes

 

Those eyes that for a moment sparkled

Like the sun upon the sea

But then they dimmed forever

And how long forever would be

 

One day my mother told me

How I used to run to her bed

And crawl underneath the covers

When the thunder boomed ahead

 

I pictured you just like that

When thunderstorms shook our walls

And someday you will run to me

But you’ll run down Heaven’s halls

 

I hope Jesus is holding you

In his arms right now

And telling you all the things I’m saying

So you’ll know exactly how

 

How I can’t wait to see you

Standing near heaven’s gates

Waiting to meet your mommy

In that great golden place

 

You’ll skip up to me to hug me

And with your arms around my waist

You’ll gaze up with a smile

One that lights up your whole face

 

You’ll say, “Mommy, come and meet Jesus!”

“He sure is pretty great!”

“I just know you’ll like him, mommy.”

“He’s over by the gate!”

 

And you’ll take my hand and pull me along

And I’ll meet Jesus with you

And we’ll walk down Heaven’s halls

As you show me the grand view

 

I pull myself out of the daydream

A sad smile upon my face

For though you’re gone right now

I’ll see you in heaven one day

 

And we’ll picnic in the meadows

And play with all your dolls

And we’ll hold each other’s hands

As we walk down Heaven’s halls.

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