A Dream Deferred

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I wish you called me baby like her.

But as soon as your lips curved,

The barely audible sound waves pierced the air,

I wish you hadn’t.

It’s just not the same and every time you do

It reminds me of the sweet love we made.

It reminds me how I let my soul succumb to such scum.

Then I remember it didn’t succumb.

It kneeled.

Presented my ego and self-confidence like you were Jesus

And they were gifts from the Three Kings.

 

I wish you stayed up late like her.

But I’m glad you fall asleep early every night

Even if it means leaving me with the visions of her in my eye,

The voice of her in my mind.

That means you’ll never ask me the questions she asked me.

That means you won’t confess things she confessed and

I won’t be tempted to open my soul again

And that way I can’t fall in love again and experience the pain I never thought

Would go away.

And I was right.

It hasn’t.

It ebbs and flows like the tide,

Coming in when I least expect it

When my back is turned

To pull me under.

 

I wish you hadn’t told me you love me.

It makes me wonder why she didn’t.

I wish you hadn’t made me your world.

I had been too busy making hers mine.

And sometimes, even sometimes

I wish I hadn’t met you because telling you all the things that I told her

Seems like a lie.

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