We started at the bottom
Where we learned to say a word.
And then we moved to taking steps
And repeating things we heard.
Eventually we learned to sing
The cheerful alphabet;
Our learning base was set.
And then we went to Kindergarten
Where we napped and learned to add.
We were read fairy tales and stories,
Ones whose endings were never sad.
Then landed elementary
With its monstrous classes and halls;
Soaking up math, science, reading too,
And playing with jump ropes and basketballs.
Middle school went by too fast,
But we still held our hopeful outlook,
That all we had was high school
Until we were free to write our own storybook.
As freshman we turned to babies again
And as sophomores we were still immature;
By junior year we set our goals,
And as seniors we were sure.
But wait, this all comes with a catch!
You see, education isn't really free.
It comes with a price too high to reach
Any measly maybe-scholarship-fee.
You have to go to college,
Or you're weak, and lazy, and dumb;
But how can we be excited
When we see that huge lump sum?
When we're offered so many scholarships,
And we go through so much work,
Trying to get just one of them
To push down the fears and doubts that lurk.
The fears and doubts we never knew
Until college came around;
Where learning wasn't guaranteed
Unless money could be found.
And it isn't like we don't try our best,
Working jobs and getting loans;
We sell ourselves for our education
And work ourselves down to our bones.
Because not everyone is rich,
And not everyone is smart enough;
And getting by with the little help the feds give
Is really very tough.
In short, I have goals I want to reach
And dreams I want to fulfill.
But as college stares at my naked form
I wonder if my dreams will become real.
This scholarship is only one
Of the many I've applied
And if I said I'd gotten even one...
It would mean that I had lied.
Education is important, and
Embedded in my life.
It followed me from birth to now
And stabbed me like a knife.
It used to be a guarantee,
Something fun and essential to me...
But now it makes my stomach curl
Knowing I can't possibly pay that wretched fee.
My insecurities arise
As I move to press the "send."
I wonder once more of education...
I wonder...was it worth it in the end?