YouTube, at the very least is known for its rather...interesting collection of videos

Entering it is like stepping through a wardrobe

Only, a minute there is an hour in real life, and not the other way around

But with enough homework avoiding time spent on there,

you might be lucky enough to find videos such as I have

One in particular:

Einsamkeit

Amazing, isn't it?

With just one word, all the pain

the suffering

the anxiety

the depression

and everything else attached to this one excruciating powerful idea are condensed

In only one word, loneliness, Einsamkeit, is expressed

With each stroke needed to define this giant idea that files under the forefront of our minds,

I hear it

Can you?

With each stroke I hear it:

the foot step of someone preying on their next group to try to join and praying it will finally work

the patter of tear shed over a desert and under an empty veil of blue

With each stroke I see it:

the outlined face of a veiled widow

the fading definition of a masked man

My finger tips fumble at the foundation crumbling with every laugh

and shun

and turning of the heel

that crashes over the shore of my mind

dragging down my hopes that I am someone loved because I am me

Instead,

I see the feet of others kicking gracefully through the surf

People with minds that barely fill a kiddy pool

but are not alone,

as I am,

because the other rubber ducks enjoy what they have to say

These aren't the jocks who get straight A's and have to force themselves to laugh along

Nor the exchange students who can get a date faster than they can answer a question

Nor the boy who's showered with praise but at lunch eats alone in a deserted hallway

These are the kids who stopped being bullies because of councilors but never got their real issues worked out

The ones who emptied themselves to fit inside UGGs because it was warmer in their than under their bitter showers

The ones who surpassed Cloud 9 because any high had to be better than their low

Have you seen them?

kids

people

human beings

branded by loneliness 

The ones with numbers on the grade sheet and seats in the back

The ones with names that fade in and out as the roster demands it

The ones who have been trapped in a web of deceit, betrayal, and lies woven by their daddy long legs or black widows

Who are entangled more and more by the puppet strings of loneliness 

as they try in vain to escape

because no one has a single vein in them willing to help

With every ounce of energy just trying to get by, they fall back

Retreat as the rain of hurt falls around them

behind the brick wall containing their broken heart

The kind of wall with ivy growing lush and long on the outside,

with the hope that someone will climb over

Because looking at a broken heart is like trying to see yourself without a mirror

without someone with glassy eyes and love on their tongue 

But without a reflection,

these ghosts part with their souls

Souls that get buried with all the other ones in unmarked graves filled with dust and even more webs

These souls join the masses,

the piles of others in forgotten trenches of the Holocaust happening right under our noses

And our next word?

Could be their last bullet

Or

It could be the deciding factor

The grabbing of the ivy

the word that stops them from offing their souls

The smile that says,

"Hello

I would tell you my name

but you can just call me

Friend"