Enough

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Growing up an obese child

Feeling alienated by peers

mind was running wild          

heart breaking through the years

being told I had a pretty face

Getting affection was really rough

Even when caught in another’s embrace

I would never be pretty enough

 

Seeking emotional security and acceptance

Feeing afraid, angry, and hurt

emotions began to show their presence

Through failing grades and tear stained shirts

While frequently reminded of potential

much more concerned with other stuff

Which began to affect credentials

I would never be smart enough

 

Wanting desperately to fit in

Feeling lonely and scared

actions were full of sin

beginning to doubt anyone really cared

Though always willing to help and give

When their lives were more than tough

There was always an ulterior motive

I would never be special enough

 

Fast forwarding to today

After years of living in doubt

Beginning to search for a better way

Starting from the inside out

 

Having faith in something more

Finally feeling so adored

Though not exactly what was looked for

This love was greater than any before

Then blessed in finding a partner

Who could see past all the fluff

It didn’t matter being larger

I was special enough

 

Finding such passion and purpose

brought feelings of peace and serenity

School no longer seemed like a circus

rather it became an addition to an identity

Through all night studying and tests

Countless cups of coffee and refusals to give up

Having never really given my best

I was smart enough

 

Taking a giant leap of faith

Despite feelings of fear and doubt

It was time to tackle the issue of weight

Because it was health that can’t be lived without

Through surgery and a lifestyle change

Half the body weight fell off

Though the “new” felt quite strange

I was pretty enough

 

Spending a lot of time on me

Whether feeling weak or strong

biased eyes began to see

Everything had been there all along

For everything I had seen was really spotless

Even the imperfections, scars, and scuffs

They were part of what makes me flawless

I am enough

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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