Enough

Here’s to never being good enough
Here’s to all the tears cried for being
Chosen last in kick ball
For the lost invite to the party
That your best friend threw.
Here’s to never being good enough.
Here’s to taking solace at the bottom of the bottle
And hiding everything behind your humor
Thinking no one notices that
Each laugh is a cover up
For something much deeper.
Here’s to never letting on
How much you really hurt
And holding it together for everyone else.
Here’s to all the tears never cried
Because you believe you must be strong
For everyone else around you
Even though crying is not a weakness
And there’s nothing wrong with a little
Crumbling now and again.
Here’s to never being good enough
For the assholes who can’t even be proud of who they are
And who definitely can’t be proud of being with you.
Here’s to them for fucking you up
And having the nerve to be happy with 
Someone else right in front of your face
That spews nothing but nonchalant words
Because you’ve convinced yourself that
The pain you feel in your heart
Isn’t actually real.
Here’s to all the assholes
Who’ve passed you over
Because of one thing you’ve said
Or because you look way different in your profile picture.
Fuck them because its still you.
But here’s to them.
And here’s to those who don’t realize
There’s more to life than what they realize.
And you’ve got it already figured out
So here’s to you
For being a decent human being
In a world full of monsters
Who just take and take 
From those 
Who just give and give
And blame all the bad things in life
On those who did nothing but
Take bullet after bullet to
Protect them from the harsh reality that is
This world.
Here’s to them, now behind the trigger
As you smile at them and insist that
You’re fine and you feel no pain
And no, you’re not upset
Because nothing can hurt you.
And if something did hurt
You can bet your ass you would never tell
Unless, of course, you have 
A momentary lapse of judgment
In which case you just
Laugh it off again
Blame your feelings on the 
Vodka in your drink
And ask how they feel
As their mean words bullet
Rips in your flesh
As you mumble
Hope you have a nice day
And whisper and even quieter
I love you
That you know they’ll never hear
Or take seriously.
Because that’s just you
The jokester
The happy go lucky
Giggling
Bumbling
Idiot.
A word you’ve called yourself over and over again
Every time a piece of your
Feelings have escaped from the
Lips that still tingle with the pressure of
Your past lovers.
Here’s to the skin you can still feel
Pressed against yours
As you convince yourself that
They’re the best you can ever do
Because they’re your
First
Your best
Your latest
And here’s to never feeling good enough
Because of words that have escaped their mouth
And are now stuck with you
Until the end of time
Like a tattoo on your heart
That you can’t bear to get rid of.
Here’s to holding in every single thought
Until you reach that breaking point
Let all your feelings fly
Out into the void we call reality
And fuck it all up.
Here’s to wishing that life had a rewind button.
Because if it did you would spend all your time 
In those moments you hold so 
Near and dear 
To your heart.
Here’s to never feeling good enough
Even though you’re plenty
And most people are greedy
And want a person who’s more than enough
Even though in the end
That leaves them feeling 
Empty.
Know that you are good enough
For who you are supposed to be
And those who can’t accept it
Are not enough of who you need.
And those who can accept it
Are just enough for you.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741