Evil Villain

I have seen so many movies

Where the villain is obvious from the start 
I assumed life would be the same
 
As it turns out
My enemy did not come in 
To some awesome background music
Because my enemy 
Is me
 
Wrapped in my own mind
Romanticised as depression or anxiety
I am the thing my nightmares want to be 
 
It is so scary 
Sharing a bed with the villain 
Knowing that at any moment
You could go to the bathroom next door
And simply end it
 
I have learned math by counting pills
Estimating how many it would take
Before my heart gave out
 
I learned English drafting letters
Practicing for when I would have to write my suicide note
 
It is so scary
Not telling anyone 
That everyday I plan 
Just how I could kill my villain 
 
My nightmares always end the same 
 
With me looking in a mirror

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