Fatal Infatuation
Fatal Infatuation
As a child I was told of the significance of what we call love
The sweet serendipity that it brings to your life
I was told that it’s the greatest feeling in the world
As a child all I wanted to be was in love
All I wanted was that kind of happiness
I truly believed that this love existed
And I was determined to find it
And when I did, it was just as magical as I anticipated it would be
It was a fantasy up until that fantasy came true
Up until I didn’t have to yearn for love because I had it
And the only thing I yearned for now was that boy that drove me crazy
The boy that had a tight grip on my heart
The boy I trusted to cherish my love
The boy who made me melt just by saying my name
The boy who cried on my shoulder when he needed too
The boy who let me cry on his when I needed too
The boy who held me and didn’t let go when I was having an anxiety attack
The boy who would whisper sweet hypnotizing words into my ear
The boy who put a smile on my face and kept it there
I wasn’t scared because I was too busy falling
I didn’t have time to be afraid
As a child I was told of all the love stories, but never of the heartbreaks
You see no one decided to tell me that love comes with a price
No one told me that love can be the best feeling but also the absolute worst
No one told me that love could keep me up until 3am
Crying over the boy who ran away with my heart
No one told me that no amount of vodka could rid me of the memory of him
No one told me that it would tear me apart piece by piece
No one told me that it would make me feel unworthy
No one told me that there would be no explanation
No words, just silence
No goodbye, just silence
Just the painful sound of silence
No one told me that this feeling, is the worst feeling in the world
No one told me that the pain could leave us numb
No one mentioned the abandonment I would feel when he left
The loneliness I feel
The bitter hatred for myself that I feel
And the worst part is I would hate myself before I would ever hate him
Even after he ripped my heart out and left it on my doorstep
Even after he carved his name into my once whole heart
I could never hate him
Because he called me beautiful and for the first time I believed it
Because he held me and I finally felt safe
Because I gave my body to him and he took care of it
Because he made me feel like the only girl in the world
So why is it that no one decided to tell me that love can be taken away so easily
Why didn’t I know to stay away from love because of the pain it causes
Why didn’t I know that I would never be the same again
Why didn’t they tell me that when it’s gone there is no getting it back
Well the answer is simple
Because love is a fantasy
A fantasy that may last for a little while but it’s never forever
The love stories we were told of are exactly that, stories
They were dreams that people created in their minds
And that's all they will ever be
Because the love we hear about as children
Will simply always be out of reach
So when he said he loved me
When he said he’ll never leave
When he promised me forever
I should have known to be more careful
I should have known that love doesn't last forever
But I didn’t know
So like a lovesick idiot I let myself fall for him
And when I was expecting him to catch me
He dropped me.