Stomach full of swallows

and monarchs

Orange and green and gold

My shifting eyes

Never focused

Thinking a mile a minute

Thoughts but no way to comprehend

Immediate sweat filled with regret

Little bits of nauseau left behind

The kind of can't stop won't stop

You don't want

Faces painted with confusion

Open eyes

I want to make happy

Worried about reactions

Trying to leave it all behind

Worried about future actions

Without me

Don't want you to disappear 

But feel better without you

Awkward silence

Uncomfortable jokes

Itchy hands when all you do 

Is complain

So I walk faster

Never look back

Never sinking

into the temptation of 

Giving up

letting the anxieties

the fears

the little voice

pull me back

Run

and don't give in.