At The Feet of Jesus

Fri, 08/04/2017 - 20:30 -- BN15

I’ve been here before. 
I’ve fought this war, 
but here I am once more.

I feel crushed under the weight
of it all.
Feeling so small. 
Feeling like my back is against the wall.

Letting the tears run down my face.
Not wanting to be in this place, 
but still longing for Your embrace.

Yet wondering if I lost You too.
I know it can’t be true,
but I can’t shake my point of view. 

Lazarus is dead
despite what You said, 
and I don’t know what is ahead.

So, I put my head in my hands as I cry.
I ask why, 
and wonder how You will supply.

Because You don’t feel near.
I don’t try to hide my doubt and fear,
and I don’t care how that makes me appear.

Because You have to come through.
I need You.
and I need Your words to be true.

I know Lazarus lives again,
but that isn’t plain
in the mist of my pain.

I feel like I have to cry.
But I hope You come along to dry
my eyes.

Are You there?
Are You near?
Do You care?

I’m knocking at the door, 
like before,
but now it feels like I’m being ignored.

I can’t do this alone.
I don’t need a God who just sits on a throne.
I need one Who makes Himself known.
But it’s like You’ve left me alone.

Can I be honest about this?
because I don’t care that life isn’t bliss, 
but I miss

You.
I want to talk like we use to.
I want You to tell me what to do.

Direct me.
Make me free.
Show me what to flee.

Hello? 
Is this what I have to go through 
to grow?

I’m tired of feeling weak
and being told its because I’m unique. 
I need You to speak.

Say something. 
Even if it stings. 
I know You’re the King of kings

and Lord of lords.
I know I can’t afford 
to not turn towards

You.
When I don’t know what to do.
I know Your words are always true
and that’s how I know You’ll always come through.

So, I walk by the rest.
What I’m gonna do they’ll detest, 
but I know You deserve my best.

So, I empty the bottle
to the bottom
even though they act like its awful. 

I show my affection 
despite Judas’s objection 
and I don’t worry about other’s rejection. 

Because I don’t care what I have to do 
or even go through 
to walk with You.

They can come around
and try to bring me down,
but their words are drowned

in the smell 
as I choose to dwell

at Your feet.
You take away the feeling of defeat. 
I refuse to give up my seat

because I’m safe with You
despite their words not being true
and what I might go through.
So, I choose to remain in You.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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