Figuring Out a Dream

Mon, 01/16/2017 - 22:16 -- Shaye23

Last year

I thought I had

Finally figured it out.

No need for

Timidity, conformity,

Or feeling less

Than I was.

That wasn’t me

Any longer.

No way,

Cause I had

Figured it out.

I had my friends,

Reliable and amazing.

I talked to anyone

And everyone

No longer concerned

With whether or not

They were too popular

For me to touch.

I knew where my path lead.

Well, at least where

I would be going in a year.

I knew it would

Be hard to say goodbye

To childhood friends

And my way of life.

Last year

I thought I had

Finally figured it out.

The secret to happy life.

Now I know better.

Now I know

I will never

Figure it all out.

The revelations 

I had made last year

Would never leave me

But they were just lessons

To help me on my way.

But they weren't the solution.

I may not

Find happiness or ease

With every situation.

Things won’t always work out.

And that’s okay.

Preferable, really.

If life was already

‘Figured out’

Where would be the fun

Of learning from mistakes,

Or laughing about them with loved ones

Hard enough to create

The best of stomachaches?

I don’t have life

Figured out.

College has begun,

But I’m still discovering how

To juggle

Class, making friends,

Balancing stress and relaxation,

Finding out who I am

And who I want to be

While the world around me

Seems to already know,

Or at least pretend to.

Do I reign in my personality?

Do I catch up on sleep,

Or finish projects?

Do I go out for coffee,

Spend money I don’t have

Or workout for the

First time that week?

These every day,

Every hour,

Every minute questions

I ask myself

Are what keep me going.

I need to try and

Figure it all out,

But now I know,

I don’t need to succeed.

I can have good days,

In the sun with my sister,

At the movie theater,

Dancing around

In lab coats

Before class.

But the bad days

Are okay too.

Some days you need

To grieve,

To reminisce,

Stay in bed and

Find yourself again.

If there’s one thing

This year has

Revealed to me,

It’s that life

Doesn’t have to be

Picture perfect,

Or packed with events,

Or revolve around

A test performance.

All that matters

Is that you make

The most of it

In the ways that make

You truly happy.

Last year

I thought I had

Finally figured it all out,

But now I see

I was sacrificing the

Best parts of me

For a dream

I couldn’t achieve.

Now I know

That being the best me

That I can be

Is the only

Dream I should

Ever dream.

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Shaye23

I just thought about how confident I was at the beginning of last year, and how nervous and lost I felt at the beginning of college, without close friends by my side and needing to figure out how to manage my life again to include a healthy social and academic life. The term 'figure it out' stuck in my head and I went with it and just wrote about how that doesn't need to be the focus of my life. If I focus on my happiness, I think my life will eventually figure itself out, and I won't need to worry about it.

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