Figuring Out a Dream
Last year
I thought I had
Finally figured it out.
No need for
Timidity, conformity,
Or feeling less
Than I was.
That wasn’t me
Any longer.
No way,
Cause I had
Figured it out.
I had my friends,
Reliable and amazing.
I talked to anyone
And everyone
No longer concerned
With whether or not
They were too popular
For me to touch.
I knew where my path lead.
Well, at least where
I would be going in a year.
I knew it would
Be hard to say goodbye
To childhood friends
And my way of life.
Last year
I thought I had
Finally figured it out.
The secret to happy life.
Now I know better.
Now I know
I will never
Figure it all out.
The revelations
I had made last year
Would never leave me
But they were just lessons
To help me on my way.
But they weren't the solution.
I may not
Find happiness or ease
With every situation.
Things won’t always work out.
And that’s okay.
Preferable, really.
If life was already
‘Figured out’
Where would be the fun
Of learning from mistakes,
Or laughing about them with loved ones
Hard enough to create
The best of stomachaches?
I don’t have life
Figured out.
College has begun,
But I’m still discovering how
To juggle
Class, making friends,
Balancing stress and relaxation,
Finding out who I am
And who I want to be
While the world around me
Seems to already know,
Or at least pretend to.
Do I reign in my personality?
Do I catch up on sleep,
Or finish projects?
Do I go out for coffee,
Spend money I don’t have
Or workout for the
First time that week?
These every day,
Every hour,
Every minute questions
I ask myself
Are what keep me going.
I need to try and
Figure it all out,
But now I know,
I don’t need to succeed.
I can have good days,
In the sun with my sister,
At the movie theater,
Dancing around
In lab coats
Before class.
But the bad days
Are okay too.
Some days you need
To grieve,
To reminisce,
Stay in bed and
Find yourself again.
If there’s one thing
This year has
Revealed to me,
It’s that life
Doesn’t have to be
Picture perfect,
Or packed with events,
Or revolve around
A test performance.
All that matters
Is that you make
The most of it
In the ways that make
You truly happy.
Last year
I thought I had
Finally figured it all out,
But now I see
I was sacrificing the
Best parts of me
For a dream
I couldn’t achieve.
Now I know
That being the best me
That I can be
Is the only
Dream I should
Ever dream.