A Final Goodbye

He moved here for people like me

From an old place called Italy

But never lost sight of his family

And wanted them to see what he had

He didn’t want them to be sad

He had a son

Only one

And that man is my father

But his father is the reason I am here

And he always wanted to keep me near

But now, for no longer

Because he is gone 

And on the day his heart had taken its last, breathe

When I was talking to a friend named Seth

And then I let out the rath

After I was told

I knew he was old

But I didn’t care

I only could stare at the blank wall

And then at how tall the world can be

But you have to pay attention to see

That inside a tree there is life

And most people will find love

And then I wanted a wing

I wanted two

I wanted a grandfather

Wouldn’t you

I didn’t want only memories

I didn’t want the keys to the coffin

I wanted to play bocce ball one more time

Just as I was about to turn nine

With the nice man who died the next week

And that was when my life had felt the first sense of death

But I didn’t understand what that meant

I didn’t know death or the pain

Then it was now

And then in my suit and tie

I looked at you after you had died

And we all cried

And sighed

And then cried some more

Until we were sore

Because we didn’t want memories

We wanted to see you

The real person that you were

That cared about me

That wanted to see as I lived my life

That hoped that he could meet my wife (if there was one)

And hope he could have a great-grandson

But life doesn’t work that way

Whenever you want to there isn’t time to play

There is only time to stay in the cycle you’re in

But there isn’t a way to win

Unless you sin

And then I looked at him

And knew I would never forget

And  as the summer rolled on

I sat with my cousins on the stool

As I felt like a fool

Wondering where you were for a second

And then as I resigned to a hidden area I cried

And then I was home

I hadn’t moved on but I had kept going

Because the truth is

You never move on from death, you only forget it’s there

Until you’re reminded and then you care

And don’t think about what you wear

Because someone died

All the people that love them cry

Or show emotion

There isn’t a way around it

But you know you’ll get hit

Hit by the pain it brings you

And then for a second you threaten to sue

Whoever it was you blame

But it’s just you dealing with the inner pain

That you can’t train to feel

You can only try and seal it deep inside

Because life ain’t a free ride

And you can’t hide

From the truth

That death is pain

And it gives life meaning.

Without death, there would be no life

And without life,no one would be in love

No one would give a damn

About Uncle Sam

And taxes.

Because without death, life lasts forever

But after death there is only never

All there is, is black.

No thoughts

No, breathe

And you hope for a god to help you arise

To bring you to your normal size and save you

You want him to bring you to eternity

And hope that everyone can see you are real

Hope that you can meet all the people you have lost

Because we live through love in every way

It goes through everything we say

When it is in the day

Or in the night

Love is what starts all fights

Love is what gives us meaning

To what seems like a never-ending cycle

Of life

But there is always love

Because love is beautiful

And love is more than the world

It makes you forget about everything

And sometimes it makes you sing

But I still wanted two wings

I wanted to fly away

And spend one more day

Just to play

And forget about life’s problems

I wanted to bocce

I want to sit and talk

While we take our final walk

And I want to learn

The stories of my family

Which I never heard

I just wish I had

And then your stories would live on

But now they’re gone with you

I wanted to re-live every minute in the pool in Green Brae

That great place by the bay

And every night you always looked at me to say

“See you in the morning.”

And then I would get my chance

To say my final goodbye

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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