First Cut

Confused,

staring into space

looking for something, 

something to stop the pain

 

Suddenly,

there it is, in my hand.

Fingers twirl

a shiny new blade

 

Slowly, 

the razor descends

onto my leg

and begins its cut

 

Layers of skin, 

seperate,

leaving a red trail

behind.

 

Emotions are overcome

by a sweet relief

not found before.

Complete relief.

 

Horror sets in.

"What have I done?

How do I hide it?"

Blood slowly pours out

 

It;s okay,

I realize. 

Just a scratch

Be careful when its done again.

 

Up the leg

slowly, carefully

the razor begins 

its evil again.

 

Relief continues,

even as the blade 

is put away,

not to be seen for hours.

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