Forgive Me For My Ignorance

Best--what?

You never said it right out.

Maybe that wasn't what people were supposed to do.

It never occured to me.

I never figured

That you belonged to me.

I hadn't taken you--

You had just fallen, fallen, fallen into my arms.

How could you believe--

Knowing about all the continents, the lives

I'd left behind forever

How could you belive that you

Could choose me, and be safe?

Did you think that somehow, this time, I would stay?

I'm restless.

I always have to move on

After a while.

I didn't do it to hurt you.

But I feel like I've failed us.

I feel like I've ruined us on purpose.

I feel like I've killed the small life we shared between us.

Will you forgive me?

It isn't as if I had a choice.

It isn't as if I could have run away

From running away

From us.

I don't know how you work.

I can't,  will never understand

But

Now that everything's past tense

I think I have some of your longing

Left in me.

I didn't know I meant so much.

I didn't know I could ever mean so much

To someone who had been all but a stranger

Two years ago.

I have so much to learn

About this life I run away from,

So many times.

Please.

It's all I can do to keep myself

From drowning in the tears

That don't exist

The tears on the inside

That by nature I have too many of.

Please.

Forgive me

For all that

I didn't know.

Forgive me for my ignorance.

Please.

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