incoming message from: depression
it seems i lose all ability to
when it comes to you.
the mirror is always fogged up and
nothing can ever fix it,
it is nearly as jaded
you are the blurry one,
you are the numb one,
the broken one,
the one that doesn't know a single damn thing and
who can't even speak, so
you write your thoughts instead
hoping that the motions of the pen will teach your tongue
the proper way to move so
you can not be so alone anymore.
you are the echo of a human being,
a ghost of what should be but isn't,
of what used to be but hasn't
shown up for work in a while.
your boss calls to ask if
you plan on returning to the
cubicle in your mind and
you hang up without a sound.
the only sound
your existence makes anymore
happen at night when you're asleep
so you forget to remember not to speak,
but you aren't even speaking,
who are you asking forgiveness from?
i am not sure where to start when naming your flaws,
i am not sure how to forgive you for them all,
how do you expect me to
forgive you for being you?
for being alive?
for being human?
your humanity is too precise,
my humanity is too far gone,
together we spasm against each other until
someone new appears and
i choose to
silence them too.
you do not deserve
the shadow your entirety casts
i do not forgive you for fighting me.
to forgive yourself