Galaxies

Location

 

Sometimes I stay up all night and feel my stomach

Feel the stretched skin, the scarred skin

My beautiful skin

I stay up all night and count every beauty mark as if they were stars

 

                                    My body is a galaxy

                                    Milky way

                                    Planets orbiting

                                    Life radiating

                                    I am woman

 

From the top of my head

Trailing down my curves

Past the scars

Past the stretch marks

Pass the cellulite

All the way down to my toes

I am woman

 

                                    My body is beauty

                                    These hips, these thick thighs

                                    What the hell is a thigh gap?

                                    Does this body make you cringe in the gym locker room?

                                    Undressing myself like I am a present

                                    Eyes wide, starring

                                    Searching for my body’s hidden secrets

                                    I am woman

 

This body is a beautiful jelly filled feminist donut

It doesn’t mind getting against yours and dancing the night away

It doesn’t mind ordering a salad

Or a double-double cheeseburger with animal style fries

 

                                    It doesn’t mind your glances when I wear high waisted shorts

                                    When I wear a two-piece bathing suit

                                    When I cover myself up so the catcalling can cease to sneak

                                    under the surface of my skin

                                    I am woman

 

I love my body

But it wasn’t always this way

My body has been hurt, beaten, bullied, cut

Shamed

My body has been shamed

Some days still burdened with insecurities

 

                                    This body was a grenade

                                    Push or pull me enough and I would have just exploded

                                    My little universe; gone

                                    My own personal big bang

                                    But I didn’t want new life

                                    I wanted life to cease to exist inside this woman body

 

This body was a garden

Seeds planted and flowers sprouted in my lungs and ribcage

No one could see them because I thought they were on the inside

The flowers began to seep through my pores

All they needed was a little sunlight

 

                                    I cried when he told me he loved me

                                    I cried when he said I look beautiful when I am crying

                                    He says I am beautiful without makeup

                                    He says I am beautiful when I am in my paint-covered Nueva

                                    tee-shirt and sweats

                                    He says I am beautiful when I laugh and when I snort

                                    I am beautiful

 

But I knew I was beautiful before he told me

This is my body

My planets

My stars

I am the protector of this galaxy

Still exploring its new skies

This is mine

I am woman

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