Get out my life. Sincerely, Elana F.

Sun, 06/05/2016 - 21:46 -- elanaf

It was nice seeing you today, and yesterday, and on my birthday, basically I see you all the time. Do I enjoy when you show up?, No. I absolutely hate you. I cannot be myself when you are around. I cannot speak, I cannot breathe, I cannot sleep at night, and worst of all you leave the doors open just invite yourself in again. I could live such a happier life if you just never entered my life. Out of all these times you had decided to show up in my life you decide now is a good time? You are so inconvenient and you do not care if I'm busy or even sleeping at night. I cannot put all the blame on you it is my mind that told my whole body to freak out, but that is when it goes downhill. People ask me if I'm “OK” or why I look worried or why am I crying, but I can only say “I'm OK I'm fine” the only way to deal with you is to lie to myself about what is happening. The first time you showed up in full swing was at the banquet in August, I thought I was just nervous being around people I did not know and away from those that I did, I walked into the next two areas over so that I can get space but you had other plans. 10 minutes later my grandmother asked me if I'm OK and that's when I broke down in tears. I do not happen that day but I was absolutely ruined because of you. "You" is not a living person or animal or entity or even something tangible "you" is my anxiety.

 

 

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