The Girl I Am Now Misses The One I Once Was
I hate the feelings that I feel,
The thoughts that prey upon my brain…
This loneliness I feel - will it ever go away?
I really hope to find internal peace,
With the changes that have occurred….
This new person I can’t stand - this new girl whom has spurred.
I hate the way you all stare at me,
The longing, judging looks of shame…
These pained expressions - will you ever feel the same?
I hate who I’ve become,
The empty heart I carry yearns for constant love…
It wonders if there’s such a place - is there a heaven above?
I wish to find my sanity,
This thing like all my certainty has vanished…
My sanity buried sure and deep - where has it been banished?
I wish my many fears would leave,
This fear of becoming another stranger and a ghost…
I’m invisible and forgotten - this is perhaps the fear that plagues me most.
I hate the idea of being turned into another pessimist,
When optimism was at once my weapon of choice….
I wielded my smile like a sword - it protected a girl with a quiet voice.
I really hope to recapture the thing I had been,
A girl who was much softer and easier to love….
This girl I am now - misses the girl I once was.