I fake a smile everyday

To let everyone know I’m okay.

It hasn’t been easy to lie,

But it was better than for me to cry

 

I don’t want to feel this way

And maybe I won’t some day.

But right now I don’t see hope

And I think it’s time for me to cope.

 

It was a warm day in May

When my dad decided it wasn’t time for him to stay.

Though I know he loved me

I just don’t understand why he had to flee.

 

I never got to say goodbye.

He fell and was left to die.

I hated the man who left him alone.

He found him to late when he reached for the phone.

 

His life couldn’t be saved

And my world caved.

I watched as others kept on going,

But my heart just stopped flowing.

 

I just wanted to join him,

But killing myself would be a sin.

I suffered every day.

But when people said sorry, I had nothing to say.

 

No one understood.

I didn’t expect that they should

I wouldn’t bless such a thing on anyone

Because this kind of situation isn’t fun.

 

I no longer have someone to see me off to prom,

No one left to fight with my mom.

He was supposed to see me graduate

But he wouldn’t be there because of fate.

 

He will never walk me down the aisle.

And this list can go for a mile.

So many things he will miss

But I mostly want just one last kiss.

 

A final goodbye is what I need.

I think that is what my broken heart feeds.

I can’t speak about this to anyone

Because they don’t understand what this has done.

 

I am no longer the happy go lucky girl.

I don’t wear dresses and twirl.

Instead I became someone new.

And I began to hate her too.

 

There is nothing more for me to say

What is left is for another day

A day when I feel more confident

But doubt leaves me to know I’ll never be perfect.

 

Because the girl I used to be

Is no longer here with me.

She died with my dad

And you’ll never be able to meet her which makes me sad.

 

She is long gone

Leaving one more depressing song

All she wants is a sun to shine

But until then this pain is all mine.